In the Process

I know it has been an extremely long time since I’ve blogged. I wasn’t sure if I was going to continue to write on it after I came back from Mexico, but for my friends over there and the one’s here, I figured why not? Plus, I enjoy it because there are times when writing something out helps you get a better perspective then simply thinking about them over and over again. The other reason, which is the bigger of the two, is that coming back to the States has been rough…it has been quite a transition and growing period, that is still going on, but I figured, we all struggle, and God stretches us at different points, so why hide that when others can pray about it and know, yes, we all have our hurdles and times of confusion and pain, so what are we going to do? Keep following the Lord and truly trust Him completely or fall into self-pity and just go through the motions of living?

These past several months in the States, has really challenged my faith-how much do I really trust the Lord of my Salvation? It is easy to say, but do my actions really reflect that? Am I thanking Him through the periods of waiting? The periods where He seems to be completely silent? These are questions I have had to really reflect on. And yes, I do trust Him, but it has come to the point that I have to consciously beat the battle between my flesh and my spirit to carry out that trust in my actions. To have joy in the Lord and in who He is by doing my best with an attitude of gratitude bringing Him glory in whatever circumstances He leads me to.

The other main thing that I have been wrestling with, that God has gently but relentlessly been teaching me is true surrender. When God led me to Mexico, I had no problems; I was excited and even through the tough times, I immensely enjoyed it. Then when God called me back to the States, I was fine with it, but I was already imagining the “what” God wanted me to do. So when I came back, and my “whats” did not fall into place, I was discouraged, mad, confused…the list goes on. But as the months passed and nothing was panning out, I started to ask why is being back in the States so hard, why did God bring me back here? Especially as 2011 came to a close and a whole new year was beginning, I really was trying to see what could be different to have a better year and do better in all areas. That was when I really listened, the Holy Spirit showed me that the “whats” I never surrendered to Him. Sure I prayed about them, but I was holding them close to me, so for me to be completely surrendered, He had to pry them from me; however, if I held them with open hands then all He had to do was to pick them up, and I would not have experienced so much discouragement. So as you start out this new year, remember with your goals and plans, dream big, have goals, have plans, but hold them with open hands not clinched fists, keeping your eyes on the Lord, making His priority yours, so if He does decided to go in another direction, you will already be ready, truly surrendered.

And another piece of wisdom, even trials and lessons and periods of silence and desserts are blessings, for they bring us even closer to our Abba, as we learn that He is who and what we live for, in any and every circumstances, for this is not our home=)

Because of Christ,
Rhonda